


Zedonk army

by Nival_Vixen



Series: Word of the day [15]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Complete, Derek gets poisoned, Domestic Fluff, Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Established Relationship, Fae & Fairies, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Oblivious Scott, Poison, Weirdness, fairy dust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 15:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1783750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nival_Vixen/pseuds/Nival_Vixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek gets poisoned by fairy dust and calls Stiles to tell him about his zedonk army.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zedonk army

**Author's Note:**

> Word of the day: zedonk  
> (Not that you can tell or anything)

"I want a zedonk."

The loud announcement through Stiles' tiny phone speaker isn't what has his jaw hanging open; it's the fact that Derek Hale has said this that's the shocker.

"Uh, say again, Der?" Stiles asks, just to be sure.

"I want a zedonk. It'd be cute and then kick people. I want an army of zedonks! Zedonkeys? No, that's not right."

"Derek? Is someone else with you? Scott, Isaac? Anyone at all?" Stiles asks, hoping that if there is, then the other person's coherent.

"Scott! Stiles wants to talk to you. Don't tell him about my zedonk army," Derek whispers loudly to Stiles then must hand the phone over to Scott.

"Hey, Stiles; what's up?"

" _What's up?!_ I should be asking you that; what the fuck is going on with Derek?! Why does he sound like he's drunk?"

"Oh, right, that. Fairy dust works on werewolves, apparently. They've really made him loosen up. But he keeps talking about zedonks and I had to get a dictionary to find out what the hell he meant, and then he must've got the phone to call you."

"That's 'cause Stiles understands!" Derek yells in the background.

"Oh, god. Where are you? I'll be right there," Stiles says, already pulling a shoe on.

"Dude, you're not even in the U.S., let alone California," Scott reminds him.

"Been working on a teleportation spell; just tell me where you are," he mutters, wincing when Derek starts singing tunelessly in the background.

"Oh my god. He's doing the  _Macarena_. We're at his loft. Get here as soon as you can," Scott says, sounding far too gleeful at Derek's humiliation.

Stiles sighs and hangs up the satellite phone, looking over at the cavern filled with books. He was meant to be in Ireland studying for his emissary training, but fairy dust could be unpredictable, and while Derek might be the cause for amusement now, it might not be that way later. Stiles sighed, wishing that Scott would sometimes think about the consequences of his actions, then concentrated on picturing Derek's loft and shifted.

"Whoa, you actually did it! Geez, think how much you'll save on airfares - ohhh," Scott winced, pulling away from Stiles as he vomited violently.

"Stiles?! That really you?" Derek asks, frowning over at him.

Hunched over as he was, with his breakfast on the floor, Stiles wasn't exactly able to reply. Derek made his way over anyway, wrinkling his nose at the smell, even as Scott rushed off to get a bucket and paper towels.

When he was cleaned up and all the Febreeze in the apartment was sprayed directly at that spot, Stiles took one look at Derek's glassy eyes, grabbed his forearm and led Derek straight to the bathroom, ignoring Scott's confused questions behind them.

"Where are you takin' me? Did you get me a zedonk?" Derek asks, eyes brightening.

"I'll get you a damn zedonk if you stop talking about them," Stiles mutters, rummaging through the medicine cabinet for the cough medicine that he knows is in there.

Derek seemed confused, not sure if he could thank Stiles for offering to get him a zedonk without mentioning the animal, and simply kept his mouth shut instead. Stiles found the bottle and the small medicine cup. He filled it to the brim, turned and offered it to Derek. He winced at the smell and shook his head adamantly.

"Derek, if you don't take this, you're going to end up with fairy dust poisoning, and you'll never see your precious zedonk, okay? Drink the stuff before I make you," Stiles adds, eyes glowing white.

Derek grabbed the small plastic cup and drank it all in one gulp, already looking green around the edges as he thrust the cup back at Stiles.

"Right, good boy. Now, on your knees, and keep your head as close to the toilet bowl as possible. It shouldn't take long to start working," Stiles mutters, turning Derek to face the toilet carefully.

Derek does as instructed, his stomach already churning. Less than a minute passes before he's throwing up, and Stiles hears Scott let out a whine from outside of the bathroom door.

"I've gotta go, Stiles. The  _smell_. I'll... talk later," Scott groans, running out of the loft a second later.

Stiles sighs and rubs Derek's back gently as he throws up everything in his system. He just hopes he's not too late and the fairy dust hasn't gone into Derek's bloodstream yet; werewolf healing would make that shit re-spawn from now until the next full moon.

"You're doing great, big guy. Almost done, okay?"

The sickly purple colour of Derek's vomit changes to a clear colour, and Stiles breathes a sigh of relief, his hand resting between Derek's shoulder blades. Derek rests his head on the seat, looking pale and his chest heaving for breaths, but his eyes don't look as glazed.

"Feeling better?" Stiles asks, taking Derek's hand to feel his pulse.

"Yeah, a bit. Thank you," Derek breathes, closing his eyes for a moment.

He doesn't let go of Stiles' hand, not even when he brushes his teeth, and it's almost five minutes before they leave the cold bathroom hand in hand. (A spare bottle of Febreeze is used in the bathroom alone.)

Derek pulls Stiles to the lounge, hugs him close, and then makes him tell him everything about Ireland and his studies. They both know Stiles has to return soon, that he'll probably be in trouble for leaving the island without permission, but wrapped up in Derek's arms, Stiles can't bring himself to care. He doubts he'll care even when he's being reprimanded because he'll have this memory to help him get through the upcoming winter.

Three months after Stiles returns to Ireland, Derek receives a package in the mail. It's a plush toy of a zebra with big wide green eyes, and as he pulls it out of the cardboard box completely, he sees the brown colouring of his very own zedonk, and grins broadly.

No one dares tease Derek about the plush zedonk that sits proudly on his bed, not knowing how much he loves the damn thing, or how happy Stiles was to alter the zebra plush to look like an actual zedonk. (Besides, the one time that Peter mentioned the plush toy scathingly, his hair had fallen out and didn't grow back until he apologised profusely a week later.)

...

The end.

Thanks for reading!


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